From Consumption to Creativity

There has been a thought percolating in my consciousness lately. A link between consumption and creativity. When I was younger, I daydreamed almost constantly about creating. A myriad of things really. I imagined myself creating art — photography, writing, painting, drawing, music. Sharing my creations with the world, and being witnessed in my expression. I loved to follow others who were active creatives, and imagine myself just like them. With ideas and thoughts that they made physical and birthed into the world. I would often wonder where they got their inspiration from and how they were moved to create a specific piece or to express themselves in a specific way. What enabled them to create something “good”, something “worthwhile”? Over time, I began to feel as if I lacked some intrinsic part within me that allowed that expression. Looking back, I can see how little by little, this view point was slowly closing the tap to my own creative waters.

As I’ve sat with this strong desire to create over the years, I have found and pulled at many threads. I’ve sat with and asked questions like - what holds me back? Why have I struggled so deeply to create, share and express? One thread in particular really stood out to me, and it’s what I’d like to talk to you about today.

Have you ever thought about what you consume with your mind? I imagine you have, as almost everyone knows what it’s like to get trapped in a doom scroll. We all know to some degree that it’s probably not for the best. We could probably be doing something better with our time. And yet. The impulse remains. The hunger to fill, to consume, to live elsewhere… for a time. That’s what it is for me at least. A little bit of escapism. For me this started as a child when I discovered the joys of disappearing into a good book. I could leave my reality behind and flit about in another. Immersed in the life of the fictional main character, I no longer had to be present for my own life. The love of fiction led me next to movies and tv shows. I was able to live out epic fantasies, life threatening adventures, and passionate love stories all within the confines of my mind. But what I didn’t realize was that while I was living another’s life - my own was put on pause. I began even to feel disoriented by the return to my own life, my own thoughts, and my own experience. The more I consumed the less I felt in touch with my path and my personal direction. I think that this happens to people more often than they realize. In the culture we live in, with the emphasis on constant consumption, and the endless promise of entertainment, we have become exceedingly out of touch with our inner worlds. And where does creativity flow from but from that connection to the inner world?

When I’m thinking about my personal struggle with creativity, I get this image in my mind’s eye of a tap that has been stopped up. Without anywhere to go, the pressure continues to build within it. The ground below the tap grows more and more dry, parched, and barren. A wasteland of sorts. My creativity needed to be unstopped and allowed to flow. But how was I supposed to do that?

The answer came to me through an unexpected channel. One day I was listening to a friend describe her creative process. Likening it to a kind of mania and madness that overcame her. That moved her to get down whatever was coming through her. It was messy, it was intense, and it was far from perfect. In fact most of what she created never ended up seeing the light of day. It was for her, and her alone. It was a need to express. A torrent that begged flow through her. As she was speaking, I recognized something familiar in what she was saying. When I was writing in my journal with my wild, hectic, and frenzied energy was I tapping into my creativity? Was I expressing?

Those questions sparked many others. I began to see a connection between my constant consumption of polished finished products, and my own perception of what creativity was allowed to be. For the first time in my life, I had looked behind the curtain and caught a glimpse of the life of the creative person. Not what is perfect and is presented out to the world… but into the chaos of the creative process itself. I saw an artist who surrendered to what wished to come to life through her. And I began to see that that was what creating was really about.

At some point, my reading habit took me beyond fiction. And so began my love affair with depth psychology. These books, which felt like intimate letters from great men and women, had a different effect on me than my fictional reading did. And that does seem as if it would be obvious, but it was surprising to me. Instead of being removed from myself, of disappearing into another’s world, I was instead being brought into greater contact with myself. With every sentence that I read, I was learning something new — not just intellectually but about me. This consumption wasn’t taking me away from myself, it was instead inviting me into deeper relationship with myself.

A new understanding of creativity was taking shape in my mind. I realized that first and foremost, I needed a connection to my inner world of thoughts, feelings, movement, and depth. An ongoing and cultivated relationship that would build a bridge to something deeper, something soulful. I started to be more mindful of what made me leave myself, and what instead brought me home. And I started to experience what it actually felt like to surrender to the soulful direction bubbling up from within . Especially when it showed up messy and chaotic, when it was passionate and alive, raw and real and true.

Creativity can become a process of self-discovery, radical authenticity, vibrant aliveness, and eventually, belonging. As you learn to claim and put all of yourself out there despite your social conditioning, your inner critic, and your fear, you will become absolutely magnetic for those who you are meant to find. Your expression will guide you to your hearth, your home, and your soul family.

So — how much time do you spend learning more about yourself? Being drawn deeper into the mystery of all that you are? In what ways do you find yourself escaping, or avoiding that mystery? Perhaps you are afraid that you’ll be overwhelmed by all that you discover, or perhaps underwhelmed by what you don’t. But treasure is rarely found by those unwilling to dig. So go digging. Build a relationship with yourself, something soulful and alive! You’ll discover parts of yourself that long to be seen and witnessed and will naturally push you to express. Be brave and pen down what you discover. Don’t worry about it making sense, or being pretty or acceptable. Just let it flow and watch yourself unfurl and blossom. It's time for you to radically take up space in this beautiful life that you are meant to live.

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As a depth facilitator, I’d love to hear about what is coming up for you on your inward journey. Your access to your creativity directly impacts your ability to create the life that you truly want to live. If you feel like you have gotten cut off from the vital life source of your creative tap — I’d love to help you crank open that tap. Use the button below to schedule in your personal connection call.

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